Another "Why?"

Why does the girl at the gym who cusses and refers to herself in expletives get hit on all the time? It isn't attractive. Maybe it's the fake boobs.

45 gone

Some of you may know and if you don't know maybe you just recognized and if you haven't seen me in a while, well, there's less of me to be seen. I've been doing Weight Watchers for the last 7 months or so and this week I got over that 45 pound mark I've been stuck at. It feels good to be smaller but I mostly did it because a lady at work asked me if I wanted to go check it out with her and it got me thinking about the medical complications and early death that was headed my way. So I went and I've been enjoying this "diet" for the most part.

I've also been working on my life list. You know, that list of things you want to do in your lifetime. One of the things I really want to do is run a marathon. I know, you think I'm crazy and I do too. I mean, who freakin runs 26 miles for the fun of it? I guess I do. I'm training for the LA Marathon on March 4th and I still have time to talk myself out of it but as of today I'm on schedule to complete all 26 miles.

Let me tell you what also is fun: Weight Watchers meetings with wackos. I went to one meeting and there just so happened to be some "special" people in the group and that made for an interesting meeting. There is this one lady in our group who is psychotic about her diet and when she speaks, I often wish she hadn't shown up. Is that mean? There's another lady who has just dropped weight so fast and I secretly wish she would plateau because it makes me sick every week hearing how much she's lost. I think that's also because the last 5 pounds have been hard to get off.

So, I was kind of ashamed to admit that I was doing Weight Watchers but there it is, my life's secret.

Why?

Here is a question I've had over the last few days. If you have an answer, please enlighten me.

Why do they give such elaborate gifts to celebrities at award shows? These people can afford their own diamonds, no need to GIVE them away. Why don't average people catch a break like this?

What's not to love?

Pretty Amazing

I think it's funny that I had such a deep dislike for Kim from 24 and then she ends up on my celebrity look alike page. It's also pretty darn funny that I could be with Nick Lachey and Ellen DeGeneres. Hey, and I saw both of them this week!

I do whatever Amanda and Jasen do...

Today is my day

I woke up this morning incredibly exhausted and very sore from my workout on Monday. I even slept through my alarm and missed my morning gym routine. I felt out of whack and after weighing in at Weight Watchers I really felt like I had been dealt a bad hand this morning. But then I had to remember all the good and it's gotten even better.

Friday I went to Burbank to see Ellen taped and it was a blast! I even got invited onstage to dance in front of everyone. It got me a "I danced with Ellen" shirt and I realized that if I ever wanted to go on MTV Made, I would definitely be made into a dancer on a huge tour like Justin Timberlake's or something like that.

This morning I entered a drawing to go see Nick Lachey tonight and even though I'm not this huge Nick Lachey fan I thought it would be fun to win. I got the call this afternoon telling me I had won and I get to go backstage and then on stage with him while he performs a song. Woohoo! Being onstage is pretty darn fun. I'll let you know how it goes.

So overall, I was on TV (the ellen show aired today) and tonight I'll be onstage at a concert. Not too bad for a nobody.

Luke 12:27-31

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."

Today is the first of November (can you believe it?) so we had our monthly staff meeting. This monthly metting focused our time on solitude and I took my blanket to the edge of the parking lot overlooking the valley and spent time with God. I wasn't looking forward to it and it's mostly because I've been angry with God and withdrawn from everything. I'm not spending time with friends and I'm definitely not spending time with God. So this was a challenge. I started journaling and figured, since God knows what I want to say, I might as well say it. As I was writing this passage in Luke came to mind and I flipped there in my Bible. I was humbled, challenged and restored just a little bit. I've been calling out to God in desperation for Him to change my situation. I'm tired of doing life alone. I'm tired of being fake. I'm tired of feeling like I can't really have community with anyone. I want a new job. I want to move. I want, I want, I want. And that's when Luke slapped me in the face :) Maybe it's me lacking faith. Maybe it's just me being impatient. Maybe, just maybe God does know what He's doing and how I'm feeling and is trying to love me and I've withdrawn. I don't know a whole lot lately but I do know that I'm not living in joy but in sin because I've tried to control my life. So here's my confession to you all and I'm submitting to God. Not my will but His.

San Diego Bound?

I have a lead in San Diego and my resume got passed on to the hiring department at UCSD. It's exciting but I don't want to be too hopeful. Hiring there can take a long time. We'll see what happens though. Shan, we might be neighbors!

One of my favorite rides! The Mansion is ready for Halloween/Christmas!

Disneyland Fun!

Elaine, Marisela, Me, Maya...UCSD roomies!

Trent called me a liar

I know, I haven't posted about Ethiopia. I haven't even written my update letter to my supporters. I'm terrible! Thanks for keeping me accountable Trent. So below you'll find a lot of pictures and some descriptions. I hope this will suffice for now.

I went to San Diego for a quick visit. I haven't been there in a long time. It was good to see friends again and see a few of the changes on campus. I also got to see 2 plays which was exciting.

Ethiopia Team 2006

Another satisfied customer.

There was a celebration for 3 days. Girls would dress up, walk around and sing. Then you had to give them money. I of course was bombarded by these groups because they assumed I had money all the time. It was neat to watch from my balcony :)

Our flight was cancelled, rescheduled and then delayed again!

Arriving at the eye clinic.

on the way out of Mekelle.

KB, Yemisrach and myself in Kaldi's Coffee. When I showed them my starbucks card they thought it was to Kaldi's. That's how similar the two symbols are. Yemisrach told me, "I've heard of Starbucks in the movies!" It was hilarious.

Me and Yirgalem in the Bole International Airport.

Inspired by Aaron

I know I should post more often because then I wouldn't feel overwhelmed by sitting down to write. I haven't even tried to write an Ethiopia update because it too seems overwhelming. There is so much to say about that trip and some way cool stories that might make you cry. I have great pictures too that I want to add so all that will come. I just wanted to say hello to anyone still checking up on me.

P.S. I'm looking for a full time job...anywhere :) If you have a heads up on something sweet, let me know!

It's coming...

My Ethiopia update and pictures will be up soon. I hope you keep checking my blog :)

United We Stand

Monday was a once in a life time event. I got to see Hillsong United in Los Angeles. It was pretty cool to see them live but I have to be honest and say it was so hard for me to worship. I had to stand back and just watch a lot. It's a bit scary feeling so far from God and at the same time preparing to go into a hostile area of Ethiopia. I continue to trust Him and reach out. Yesterday it was so hard for me to read my Bible but I did it for 10 minutes and I felt like I had given God everything I had. Yeah...so I'm off to Mexico, back for a day and off to Africa. Call me a world traveler.

To see your face again...

I went up to Big Bear with our 6th and 7th graders for camp. I was able to run away for a couple of hours and see Pondo peeps. It was great for the 30 minutes I was there and thanks for being so welcoming and understanding of my short visit. It really made me think about working there again next summer. Boy, that would be so fun!

I've been in desperate need for true community. Things here in the valley are so shallow. I have friends but nobody really knows anything about me. I guess that's a good thing. They might not want to be my friend if they really knew things about me. I'm thinking about moving to San Diego.

I'm leaving for Ethiopia in 2 weeks! I'm stoked but a little scared. We've been warned a couple of times about the area we're heading into. Northern Ethiopia is very closed to the Gospel and they've killed missionaries trying to get in. This is the first time I've actually thought about the possibility of going and not coming back alive. Pray for my time there. I won't be back until the 31st of August so if anyone still reads this thing, well, it's normal to have a monthly post now isn't it?

Here and there and everywhere

So, as you can see from the pictures I've been keeping busy. I went from Chatsworth to Pismo, Yosemite and Sonora. I tried some new things, picked up new hobbies and made new friends. I came back home only to turn around the very next day and go to Hume Lake. I miss that place and it was great spending a whole week there. I also made some wedding appearances and yes, I wore the same dress to both of them:) Now it's back to work for a week, preparing for another camp, family vacation and Ethiopia.

oh Hume Lake!

ghastly green grasshopper

Yes, McWatters is on a bike!

At the top of Vernal Falls, Yosemite

I tried knee boarding for the first time!

Alyssa & Marisa

Marisa and Dave

The happy couple

Sarah's beautiful day.

Wildlife is really Wild

I left Thursday for the Wedding of the Year. Sarah and Justin are now one and I'll post pictures in the future. It might take a few weeks though. I'm leaving tomorrow for our 8th grade road trip. I'm excited because I get to hike around Yosemite and it's beautiful and fun and refreshing to be out of the valley. I'll come back Saturday to head to Marisa and David's wedding and then maybe some rest. Oh wait, probably laundry because I'm leaving Sunday morning for Hume Lake. Our high schoolers are going to camp and they needed another counselor. I'm so lucky, I know. I'm very excited for the next 2 weeks. After that I hope to do some local traveling. The new car is handling very nice. I've taken over a thousand miles already! Okay, pictures will come in abundance later.

I ain't ridin' dirty

It's done...Car shopping is over. Saying goodbye was a bit hard on me but my last drive in the Escort to Oxnard was a good one. The air conditioning even started working again. Maybe it was her last plea with me to keep her. I have to say, she cleans up well and I'll miss her. BUT for the moment I'm in love with my Honda Civic. I wasn't looking to buy such a nice car and thought I couldn't afford it either. Come on, I'm in ministry and you all know how that is! But I sent David (my ferocious step dad) in to the bargaining table and he came out the winner. The dealer wasn't so happy. He thought he was gonna have it easy, a single female, alone on the car lot. He thought he saw a sucka, boy was he wrong. All I'm saying is I better marry a man who can work a deal like my stepdad. So there you have it, I can now take road trips and not fear breaking down which means every second I have right now is going to be spent on the road. The first trip begins tomorrow as I head to Morgan Hill to watch Sarah and Justin tie the knot. I love those kids. San Diego and Running Springs are on the top of the list, don't you worry. Just let me know where I can sleep:)

The new ride. Now I can come visit you where ever you are! Yes, even Texas you Ashdowns!

Do I look like Dad?

Do I look like mom?

The Exodus

I have a lot to say but no patience to write about it all.

In short, 2 of our 4 pastors are being called away from our church. Change and transition is an adjustment for all. It always seems like a pastor leaving a church is a bad thing but I've been able to see the positive in this. While I'll definitely miss these humble men I'm excited to see what they do and what God does here.

I think I may have found the car I want to buy. It's a big decision in my life right now and I don't know why it's such a big deal. I think because by me buying this car I'm committing to staying around for a few more years. I'm also possibly applying to grad school. I've decided to bite the bullet and just go so far into debt there's no way out.

I'm preparing for Ethiopia and I really just wish it was time to go. I'm excited.

Please excuse my silence

I haven't had time to think, let alone post. I've come to the point where I wonder about everything I do. It seems like I absolutely hate ministry right now and I don't know how to solve that problem. It's hard being honest with where I'm at, even with myself. I wonder if I'm just afraid to pursue something new and that's why I stay where I am. But I think this is exactly where God wants me. I don't get it.

I did get the chance to see Gavin DeGraw in Hollywood last week. Thanks Trent! It was awesome and I was especially entertained when the drunk guys started hitting on the drunk girls. Go on, get you some.

Jojo bows at my amazing intro skills.

Mary J. Blige

Nick Cannon

Baby Bash

My dressing room

Kanye brings the dopeness.

Waiting backstage to introduce Ray J.

Wango Tango 06

It was amazing! A day I won't forget for sure. I checked into my hotel, took a little nap and then a shower. It was relaxing and much needed. The car picked us up and we went to the show. I checked in, got credentials and went to the dressing room. They had catered dinner, snacks, drinks, everything down to hand sanitizer for me. I had front row tickets and a stage bracelet. I introduced Ray J and met Kanye. Jojo and Valentine (DJs at KIIS) were onstage with me and they were awesome. I had so much fun with them. My feet were worn out though and the blisters I still have prove it. It was definitely worth all that effort of entering online :)

I'm the VIP Grand Prize Winner!

I got a call today from April at KIIS FM, a station that could be considered a guilty pleasure of mine. So she tells me I was picked as the Grand Prize winner for their Wango Tango concert. I was stoked because I wanted to go to the concert but then she told me all that I had won. I get a hotel room in Irvine, a limo ride to and from the show. Once at the show I'll have a dressing room, backstage passes and I get to intro one of the artists on stage. Then I get a limo ride back to the hotel and the hotel for the night. Bummer is I only get to take one guest and I had told Jonathan way back in March that if I won tickets, I would take him. He didn't believe me when I called him today to tell him we're going to Wango Tango. Dude, I'm stoked because Mary J. Blige, Kanye West, Rhianna and a few others I might be excited about are gonna be there. I really want to meet Kanye and well, Ryan Seacrest :)

3.09 and that's a deal

I had to get gas last night before I headed home. I never thought I would be glad to be in the ghetto of the valley house sitting but they do have some cheap gas around there. I filled up for $3.09 a gallon and that was a deal. I've never in my life payed that much for gas and it was a sad day yesterday when I had to give in or not go to Hollywood tonight.

I'm gonna hang around Amoeba and The Oasis for a bit until I can get some time with McWatters. He's in Hollywood with the Joshua students so that should be fun. Amoeba is probably one of my favorite places on Earth so that's always fun. I'll let you know if I pick up any new CDs.

Blythe, CA: Beautiful or Butthole?

I've almost recovered from Spring Break Camp 2006. It's a tough one to recover from because I didn't realize how dead I was. I must have been running on excitement while in Blythe. Which brings me to the amazing city that is Blythe. There isn't really anything there except this cool spot to camp right on the Colorado River. They do have 2 Starbucks stores though and that's more than I can say for Fillmore. Apparently there is this really amazing bait shop where some staff picked up live fishes for our crowd breaker so appropriately titled, "Bobbing for fish."

The last night was one of my favorites. I never knew there was so much wildlife around the campground until 1:30 am. Danny and I were sitting on the food truck gate just chatting it up and waiting for the girls who thought they were being covert to strike the boys camp. Instead bats, cats and skunks came out of the fields and I thought it would be funny if we threw a cat into a tent. Danny did too so he picked up the fat white cat and threw him in with his East boys. Their reaction was golden and it earned Danny the title of "Beastmaster" which I know he's proud to hold. It gave me an even bigger laugh when in the morning the boys had turned the fat white cat into a bob cat as they retold the story to the girls. Impressive.

This can explain why I haven't answered my phone Wess. Sorry about that but I've been gone and we're still friends.

Dirty Little Secret

I have some of them and I'm not disclosing on my blog but they are interesting developments in my life.

Looks like I'm gonna go sky diving with Marisela in about 2 months or so. I can't wait! I told someone about this today and they called me crazy but its something I've wanted to do for a long time now.

Life is busy but it's great. You caught me on an optimistic day.

My dream come true...

They filmed "24" on our lot last week and although I didn't get to meet or even see Kiefer, I heard this morning that he signed a deal for another 3 years with FOX. Woohoo! More "24" to come. Maybe some day I'll catch a glimpse of Jack Bauer.

My sweet ride/home. Nikki and Kyle, be very jealous at how nice it is.

Reflections

Alright, my Life Group went well and the girls in it are very nice. When I left I was glad I had gone so I hope next week my attitude is better. Plus, they love American Idol so when we were done they turned it on. I had recorded it at home because well, I'm not blessed with things like TiVo so I keep it old school in the trailer. I was so upset that Mandisa got the boot last night. Come on, Ace, Bucky and Katherine should have been the bottom 3. And if Pickler goes much further I'm going to shoot someone. I've never heard someone so stupid open their mouth. Yeah, I'm sippin' on the haterade...She drives me crazy with how idiotic she is.

Enough about Idol. I had the chance to meet Wyatt Bush, the newest addition to the Bush family as of yesterday. He's so cute and even though his dad thinks he has a big nose I thought he was adorable.

It's finally sunny and nice outside and I have to be in the office :( At least I can keep the door open. They're filming "24" on campus today but I doubt I even catch a glimpse of Keifer. Jack Bauer is the man.

My list of things to boo

Here's my "Boo" list. These things all get 2 thumbs down for some reason. Maybe it's just me, in a foul mood.

*Being Sick*Being bored*A broken car*Rain*The Subway guy who overcharged me*People that don't know how to drive in the rain*Housitting instead of going to San Francisco with friends*Being blocked from myspace*Working too much*Working too little*People that act like a friend but really aren't*Restless sleep*Gas prices*Joining a small group with girls I don't know*Having to miss American Idol for said small group*Not being at camp*Being away from the friends that make me laugh so hard I pee my pants*My burnt out light bulbs in my trailer*Mold*Wheat tortillas (I tried to give them the thumbs up...Not happening). That's about it for now. Boo on my attitude too. Dang.

2 fist pumps!

I had the great opportunity to spend a few hours with the Howells in Huntington yesterday. It was awesome, thanks guys. I really enjoyed the belly dancer and drunk guy. You guys make me laugh!

Responsibilities, what's that?

I was a huge MXPX fan in college. I own almost every CD they put out. At first it was because I really liked this tennis player who loved MXPX but after we went to a show together, I fell in love with the band. They had a ton of energy and even though they might not have the most difficult music in the world, it's still entertaining. Anyway, all that to say I have some new responsibilities. I'm now taking over Sara's job at the office and it's a lot to remember right now. It's good though, some extra money and it looks like a new car is on the horizon. As I thought about what I could post about today I don't think I could top my sex post so I'll leave it at that. I'm speaking on Wednesday to the middle school girls and I'm stoked on it. Especially since Wess called at the perfect time and gave me some insight and encouragement. Thanks buddy. I'll let you know how it goes!

"Relax it's just sex!"

Alright, so the title caught you, I know. I said the s-word. What can I say, there isn't much to write about. Okay, I'm joking. I heard this ad on the radio last night for something to do with Hustler and the tag line was, "Relax, it's just sex!" I laughed as I sat there thinking about what some people think sex really is. I mean, our culture treats it like it's this great thing that cool people do and it doesn't really matter with whom you do it with. But what if I put an ad on the radio with a tag line like, "Relax, you've probably been infected with an STD and YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT!" Sometimes I wonder if people ever think about this and not just the gratification that can come from having sex. I guess I didn't really think about it though until I became a committed Christian. I'm a statistics fiend. I love them. I've been reading a lot of stats lately about sexually active teens and sometimes I wish I could just scare them into not doing it. But what I really want is for them to realize why they shouldn't do it until they're married. Not just because something like 1 in 3 sexually active teens have AT LEAST 1 STD now or over 40% of women have had an abortion because of unwanted pregnancy but because God, our Father created sex with boundaries (marriage) and it's a great thing in those boundaries. Maybe I should tell them this. I wish I had someone speak candidly with me about sex when I was in high school. I know, I'm preaching to the choir but it's just what I've been thinking about. I also heard a caller on the radio seeking advice on how to handle his fiance who he's just discovered has had over 100 partners. He wanted to dump her but callers offering advice told him it really was no big deal. And in fact, she'll probably be a great lover because of her experience. All I wanted to do was vomit and then tell these idiots they were exactly that. You might think I listen to shady radio and maybe it is, I like Kanye West :)

The Promised Land

I got to Red Coat at Hume this weekend and it was alright. My girls weren't so talkative but I did have fun roaming. My cabins were at the top of Ponderosa which meant I had to hike in the ice at the wee hours of the morning. I thought I might fall and brake my neck the first night. The second night I almost did. Luckily there are lots of trees to brake my fall.

This was a special trip for me because I got to spend time with friends, serve at Hume and listen to Darin teach. It was also huge for me because it was my 11th "spiritual birthday." I gave my life to Christ at Hume during a winter camp in high school. I had the chance to sit under the stars and thank God for the wonderful things He's done in my life and ask Him about the things He's going to do. It was amazing.

Somehow I was able to escape many slippery falls at Hume but today I totally ate it outside of my house. I guess the rain washed enough rocks into my driveway to take me out. It reminded me of my fall at Hume this summer. That one left me with a black eye and a scar on my knee...Ouch.

High definition in your L-I-F-E

Man, I'm one down little girl this week. It started Sunday when I got to church and discovered the topic was marriage. My favorite topic while sitting completely alone in church. I don't think it would have been so bad if I even had a friend to sit by but Nathan won't sit next to me. I think he thinks people will think we're dating. Did that make sense? So I cried during church and then this creepy guy sat next to me and was so shy he turned his back to me when I reached out to shake his hand and say good morning.

I painted Monday and did some scrapbooking. It was better than eating everything in my house which is what I wanted to do. I was pleased with the results and amazed by that evening's episode of 24. The best show ever.

Tuesday was rough and has carried over into today. I'm trying to separate myself from my situation, evaluate and analyze. Maybe that's my problem. Oh, by the way, I spilled my guts to Blue Eyes. I guess I can call him Danny now because he knows how I feel...Only now I wish I hadn't done it. I could've ruined a great friendship. T, is it really worth it in the end? Hurting that much?

I know God is always with me and I'm actually never alone but you've probably felt alone like I have. Is it because I'm human and don't fully get it? I wish I had some physical aspect of God to show me His love today. Maybe it's in creation or it'll be in some middle schooler who gives me a hug tonight. I just don't think I'll be satisfied with that. Why am I such a brat?

The Day of Love

It wasn't so bad. Actually, I had almost forgotten it was Valentine's Day until I got to work and realized I was wearing pink. Eh, who cares? I did get flowers from a nice boy and another nice boy told me I had a beautiful smile. So I guess I'm workin' it. Only kidding.

My good friend in Ethiopia asked me to bring him to the US on a fiance visa because it's quick and easy. I don't know how to respond to that. He's pretty much in hiding because he can be thrown in jail for opposing the Ethiopian government which has become so corrupt the US has withdrawn a major part of funding for the country. I'm actually pretty angry at the situation. I guess I have to wait to see God's justice come.

Nathan is a dweeb. Stop pretending to be interested in my blog.

I was reading in Acts this morning and it got me so pumped. I can't wait to share but I have to continue on in my thought process.

Basically...is Nathan's favorite word

Just so you all know, thanks to Nathan I now have a myspace. I don't know how to log onto it and I don't know how to work it. He knows my user name and password and all that jazz. Now I feel obligated to use it (once he decides to tell me how to log on) because there are so many people on it that I know and haven't spoken to in so long. Anyway, feel free to look at it but I don't.

"Is your man on the floor? If he ain't let me know"

I love that I can renew my license online. It makes it so easy and I don't have to deal with DMV people. I'm also pretty stoked I don't have to take the Class B test over again, I guess they trust I'm still a good bus driver.

I did my taxes today and now I'm going to sulk in the corner. I really think there's something wrong here because I owe my great state of California 76 bucks and Uncle Sam wants $181. How in the world can I owe that much when I don't make hardly anything and I give 10% away!? Last year I trusted Turbo Tax but I might not this year. I put it on hold for the time being. If I owe, they aren't getting my money until April 14th.

I might have just gotten a sweet deal on a credit card. Ahh, money!

You Said

You said, "Ask and you will receive whatever you need."
You said, "Pray and I'll hear from heaven,
And I'll heal your land."

You said Your glory will fill the earth
Like water the sea.
You said, "Lift up your eyes;
The harvest is here. The kingdom is near.

You said, "Ask and I'll give the nations to you."
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart.
Distant shores and the islands will see
Your light as it rises on us.

©1998 Reuben Morgan / Hillsong Music Australia
Words and Music by Reuben Morgan

I'm wondering if a shake's comin' with those fries, if so baby can I get 'em supersized?

I'm back from Hume and boy am I beat. It was a great camp though and Eric Simpson did an amazing job communicating the heart of God. JD came with us and he had fun although he was a bit out of place not knowing anyone from RP. While I was watching broom hockey this girl comes up to me and asks me if I was her counselor. I didn't recognize her and asked what church she was with. She told me and then she told me her name and I remembered her from jr.'s week at Pondo. She was one of my campers there and now she's a middle schooler! It was kind of a cool thing.

I tested the public transportation yesterday and took the orange line to the red line into Hollywood. It was a lot of fun and I even enjoyed shabu shabu and Koji's with Katie.

I then went to Manhattan Beach with Nate and Bryant and heard Greg Koukal (spelling isn't right) from Stand to Reason lecture about the "emerging church." It was super awesome, I enjoyed it.

Hume Lake is a Refuge

I'm headed to Hume for the weekend. We're taking 93 middle schoolers and my brother counts for one of them. I'm stoked for this because he's never been exposed to church and I'm praying God shows Himself to JD. My mom had a funny story yesterday. She told JD he needed a Bible for camp and JD responded with, "Why do I need a Bible for camp?" "Because you're going to church camp and you go to church while you're there." "I have to go to church when I'm there?" "Yes JD." "That sucks. I don't like church. I thought I was going to have fun!" My mom explained he would have a lot of fun but that we did have chapel and he would have to go.

I got offered a job yesterday by Quest. I called and asked for more money. They said no. I'm staying at the church. It's the right thing, I know it is. This whole job thing has been a little depressing. It wasn't like I was out looking for a job but then these opportunities came up so I took them and they all ended up wrong (in my eyes). I just feel like this expensive BA sitting on my desk is worthless. Really, how can I not make more than $10.29 an hour with a degree from UCSD? Maybe I'm just not made for anything but ministry and honestly I could be okay with that. I do get worried and fear that I'll never be able to do the things I want to do because let's face it, everything costs money. But I guess it's an opportunity for me to trust in God to provide. Someone once said, "you're always going to be in debt. It's a fact of life." Crown taught me differently and I've been striving to be wise with money and debt but maybe debt will be a part of my life...forever.

Yo amo Jack Bauer

Weekend Update

I know it's Tuesday but it feels like the first day of the week for me because I have Mondays off. This weekend was a good one. I got to play Settlers Friday and Saturday and only got into one minor argument with Nate. Saturday I hung out, went to the gym and hung out some more. My family came to church and JD actually really liked the middle school group which makes me happy because now my parents will be more motivated to come to church.

I had this interaction with a friend this weekend which left me kind of confused and hopeful and scared all at the same time. Gosh, I wish I didn't have feelings for him and I've even prayed for God to take this away. I thought for a minute He had but I realize more and more that it's still there and deep and raw. I could have kicked myself for having so many chances to affirm him and tell him what I thought but instead took the chicken way out, laughed and smiled as I tried to seem relaxed. Sometimes I want to tell him everything. Like what books I've been reading, what I'm studying in the Bible or how the old lady at the gym is so funny because she can barely walk but she's on that treadmill every time I go in and I admire her for it. I want to share more about my family and I want him to experience them. I want to call him everyday and I don't want to call anyone else...ever :) But I can't and I don't and maybe it's God protecting me but maybe it's me being fearful. There are other times I feel so close to him but don't know what to say. Sometimes I don't say anything because I think I'll sound like an idiot. I guess I've got it bad.

Jen Turner stopped in this weekend and we played Phase 10. Jonathan won and I'm convinced we need to stop playing games with him because he always wins. I'm itching to play nertz except Tim can't play because of his hand so we resort to split which I also love. Yeah, it was a good weekend.

Scheduled Maintenance is a drag

Yesterday I actually was excited to post but when I tried to log on there was a scheduled maintenance on blogger. So this might be short because today I don't so much feel like writing.

The Palms is probably the coolest place. It's a restaurant in Carpenteria and you get salad, beans, bread and baked potatoes and a steak (or chicken for the non-beef lovers) all for $10! That's right, you didn't read it wrong, $10. It's so cheap because they bring you a raw steak and they have grills in the place and you just grill your own food. Some may think it's too much work but I always enjoy it.

I had another job interview today and this one went really well and I enjoyed it more than the others. Who knows if this will work out but it's made me think about what happens to ministry now. I guess I'll make a decision once something is offered.

I wish I didn't like TV

I can't believe they're canceling The West Wing! Are people really so dumb that they don't get the humor in the show? How can you not love the characters? Okay, I'm only just starting season 5 and that may be the reason I'm so angry. Maybe it gets bad, I don't know and don't tell me.

I wonder when 24 will get cancelled. I mean, I hope it never does because I love it and I love Jack and I love watching every Monday with my friends. But when is Jack going to fail to save the world? I guess never because he's Jack which is equal to THE MAN.

I had two interviews yesterday and I hated them both. I guess that's a good thing. At least I figured that out before I went any further with either of them. I miss camp ministry. I wish ministry had health benefits :)

I miss you!

7 years later

Has it really been 7 years since I left my protective little campus of Fillmore High School? Wow, I feel old right now. I forgot what it was like to be at a public high school campus. I've never been to one as big as Birmingham where I spent lunch time. The Christian club put on an event in their quad which was mighty bold and really cool of them. I would have never done that in high school. Our Christian club consisted for 5 people, 4 of them all from the Holliday family. All they wanted to do was pray at 7 am once a week. I did it for a while and for all the wrong reasons I admit but I would have never thought about doing something like this. It's interesting to see how things have changed. Many students had ipods and headphones and even more had cell phones. I got a cell phone 4 years ago! Anyway, it was cool being there and just praying for the students giving their testimonies and the band playing worship music in the quad.

Unexpected things have come my way and there might be a change in my career path. It comes at such a funny time because I'm happy with ministry right now. I have to think long term though and about what will benefit me and the ministry. I don't want to leave church or the people I've met here so pray for me. I don't know what's going to happen next but Monday I have an interview.

I've been reading Genesis and I've been especially fascinated by Joseph. I finished Blue Like Jazz and was pleased with that purchase. I'm trying to read about different religions and more apologetics stuff. Anyone read anything good on these topics?

One of my favorites as of late. JD the baller.

This is Christy. She's probably one of the coolest dogs I've ever met. She's way smarter and sweeter and less slobbery than others.

The computer just told me off

I'm at Hume right now and it's been a good trip so far. The computer I'm using just popped up this message asking me if I noticed the tool bar on the screen. What the heck, attitude from the computer. I had the chance to visit my good friend Josh in Arrowhead and stopped by Pondo for some daddy daughter time with Aaron :) It was great to talk for those 30 minutes I had. I had to pick up college camp in Big Bear and then I came home for a birthday party.

Happy Birthday Tim!

I'll be home soon which is good and bad. I haven't been home in a month. Seriously. It's dirty! I'll have to post more later when I have faster internet. God is doing some huge things though and it's exciting but scary.

Happy Happy

I know this boy named Danny
He has a talented fanny
Today he turns as old as my granny
But I'm still glad he's my friend.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

Stressful Shopping

The holiday season wasn't so stressful on me. Giftcards may seem impersonal but I think they make great gifts. I know I always appreciate receiving gift cards. Anyhow, what is stressing me out right now is the fact that my car has been to the shop 3 times in the last 3 weeks. Every week it's something new and expensive. So now I'm declaring my search for a new/used car.

I hope you all enjoyed your holidays. Christmas was phenomenal and I got hooked up with a digital camera so expect more pictures. New Year's was peaceful and I enjoyed that a whole lot. I'm pretty out of routine though and that bothers me. I did pick up Blue Like Jazz and laughed a whole lot. He even talks about trying to stay out of trouble with routines but mine isn't like that. I just function better with a highly structured life :) My car has thrown a big wrench in my schedule and all those swearing to lose weight in 2006 have probably crowded my gym so I've sorta stayed away. But I do miss it. They'll give up by next week and I'll be home from Hume by then and hopefully have a car that I can trust, so routine will pick up again.

I leave on Sunday for a staff retreat at the HLCC. I love that place so much. I've actually thought about moving back. But then I remember how lonely that place can be and I guess I kind of like my friends around here for now :)