I'm an insecure girl

It finally hit me today...school starts in less than 8 weeks. As I realized this I also had an overwhelming sense of insecurity. I'm afraid I won't cut it. As a student, as a friend, as a Christian. When first considering Rosemead I was excited about taking theology classes, being around other believers, making new friends. Now, all of those things scare me. I know a lot of it has to do with where I'm at right now here in San Diego. I have little community and a few people I even talk about spiritual matters with. I often hold back a lot because of what I perceive to be an un-interested attitude from people in the body of Christ. It's made me think I don't want to be around Christians so much. We can be mean, hurtful people. It seems I've found more care outside of the Christian community which is also very disheartening. I'm afraid of what my dear San Diego relationships will become.

I remember feeling some of this towards the end of my first trip to Ethiopia. My leader, Mark, prayed over me and the journey I was coming home to (Joshua Wilderness Institute) and reassured me that it would be exciting. And it was. I'm looking for a Mark right now and leaning on the promise of God.

I'm praying for a change in my heart too. I know how wicked it is.

The Big Jump

I jumped from 40 meters off the bridge toward the water below. It was exhilarating to say the least.

On a high like never before. And such a dorky smile to prove it.

*Pictures by Jen Turner

I've been having horrible headaches and a hard time sleeping. With the time I have at night, I've wanted to blog about the rest of my NZed trip. It just hasn't happened because I'm afraid of what I might say when I'm loopy at 1:30 am. However, I did want to share these pictures of my jump off the Harbour bridge. This jump brought out so much excitement and joy I've been missing for a while and I'm glad it followed me home.

Since returning home I've jumped into a new temp job, began planning a baby shower for the newest Drake, and am trying to set my routine in SD for the next couple of weeks until I move to LA. It's been tough but it's been exciting. I'm starting to look for housing in the LA area and I'm not looking forward to that process but I'm totally stoked on school. If anyone has housing tips, options, offers, hit me up.

Naughty New Zealand

Yesterday we tackled NZ on our own. Jen drove Pip's car while she was at work and let's just say, the spaces in NZ are tight and driving on the other side of the road is difficult. Everything is the opposite from America, the light switches, driving, turn signals. So instead of a turn signal, Jen often set the wiper blades off and would get frustrated at first. By the end of our outing we just laughed at everything. And boy did we laugh yesterday.

We successfully made it back to Pip's work and started planning our trip for today to Rotorua. I'm ready for some EXTREME adventure while the others are really just ready to laugh at how ridiculous I am. I was thinking I might want to jump off the Sky Tower so we were looking to see how much it cost. $200! I told Pip I would just jump off her house for free. Jen said she would drag a mattress out for me to land on. Only one mattress though, I'd have to be pretty accurate on my landing. So now I'm thinking I'll jump off the Harbor Bridge because like Pip said, "where else can you jump off the Harbor Bridge?" While we were looking for adventures we came across a tour company called 4Play. I won't repeat the comments that were made but we laughed so hard I cried.

We headed to Mission Bay at sunset and it was awesome. We continued laughing as Jen snapped her camera at our craziness. After heading home, JT and I went to the grocery store (something I enjoy in other countries) and Pip went to a meeting. I had rice for dinner because honestly, I feel like I'm constantly eating and I just needed a little something for dinner. JT fell asleep pretty quickly and I watched Finding Nemo until going to bed. Ah, what a great day.

We're heading to Rotorua soon...we'll see what lies ahead!

The difference between Tuesday & Wednesday

Yesterday (Tuesday in NZ) was pouring. JT and I headed to Davonport on the ferry and braved the storm with the hopes of finding something cool to see or do. Once we got off the ferry the tour guide told us we were pretty much out of luck if we wanted to see cool things. He even said it wouldn't be worth it to pay for the tour because of the rain. We weren't planning on taking the tour anyway so we just started walking and then the rain started PELTING us. It wasn't just raining, it was pouring. I gave JT my umbrella because I'm a good friend and I had a rain coat but we both still got soaked. We hiked to the top of Mt. Victoria and along the way we played Amazing Race and I climbed a tree. Once we got back into downtown Auckland we walked to Parnell and by now the sun was starting to peek through. We spent the afternoon walking, drying off, shopping and drinking coffee. I had the cutest and yummiest peanut butter mocha. I even took pictures of it because it was that pretty. My camera is being temperamental so I've been using my phone. I might try and buy a camera today since the US dollar is much stronger than the NZ dollar. I've been using my phone for the camera (not the best, but it works) and found I have service. It's very expensive so I'm not using it but I can see text messages and was very sad to learn I'll be missing Liz's last day at the gym. She's heading off to China until who knows when. So, best of luck Liz!

Today (Wednesday) is BEAUTIFUL out and we're about to venture into another suburb of Auckland and see what today brings.