babies galore

I've been around California and held a lot of babies this week. It's been fun, here's my recap.

Saturday I traveled to Morgan Hill and hung with the Richters. Sarah and Justin are fantastic and have a beautiful 4 month old girl. Grace has got to be the best baby I've ever been around, she hardly fussed and is always stylin'. While I was in Morgan Hill I also got to catch up with the Hauges. I've known Chris and Joy for over 15 years now, they were the ones to really introduce me to Christ and they hauled me to church for a few years when nobody else wanted to take me. I've always been thankful for their encouragement and example. They have a 6 month old boy, Silas (bringing their total to 6 kids). Silas is a monster which is only funny because all the other kids are so small. Grace and Silas are already betrothed.

I left Morgan Hill on Monday and met up with AJ. We had a good breakfast and even better time laughing and talking. The highlight was definitely when he barked in the restaurant. He blames me for his craziness but I don't receive that, it comes from his core. After I said goodbye to Nor Cal I headed to Fresno to see baby #3. JT and I went to dinner at the Pullens that night and played a "fast moving tile game" called Rummikub. Don't be fooled, it isn't fast, but I do like it. Grant and Erin are the parents to Benji, who already loves football as an infant.

Tuesday was another day of driving and I ended up in Chatsworth to eat and play games with my old student ministries friends. On Wednesday I finally finished my tour-o-babies with Dee Ann and Tim's kids, Ryan and Natalie.

My mom asked how my trip was and I just described it as feeling like my heart was full. It was so great tojavascript:void(0) see new and old friends, feel completely at ease doing nothing, laughing so hard I cried and talking about issues so deep I cried. It really was what I needed to finish out 2009 and I hope for more of this feeling in 2010.

Christmas 2009

Merry Christmas! One of my favorite Christmas traditions is opening up stockings in the morning before any gifts are handed out and ripped open. I'm always a little surprised when I hear people say they've never done stockings before. I also always feel a little sorry for these people. It's the time of the year when I get new underwear, socks, and stock up on toothpaste, etc. I always look forward to the stocking. Santa also left us all snuggies this year so we took sibling pictures in them in front of the tree. I'll definitely post these soon.

My mom thought she was so clever with mine and Robbie's gift. I'll give it to her, it was good. She had told us not to expect many gifts this year but after looking under the tree I thought I was going to make out pretty well. I opened a bag first and it had dollar bills crumpled in it. The next bag did too. There were a few bags like this and I wasn't complaining. I am a little weird about my money though, it has to be organized. I like my bills in numerical order, facing the same way and as straight as possible. So, these gifts took me a while to get through. After the bags were done I started on the boxes and it was the same thing, cash. It was a good gift, I like cash.

Christmas was different this year. Probably because it was quiet for the most part and if you've ever been around my family you know they aren't quiet people. I once again fell asleep in the middle of the festivities and I'm soon heading to bed. I'm driving north tomorrow and I'm super excited about this trip. I'll be meeting Grace, Silas, and Benjamin for the first time this weekend. Those are all the babes born in the last few months. I plan on doing a lot of baby holding in the next few days!

Christmas Eve Flare

Christmas eve is reserved for my Dad and his family. When I was a kid it was a big family gathering, with cousins coming from all over Southern California and lots of tamales being steamed. We'd have to wait until midnight to open gifts and it always drove us kids crazy. Now that gathering is small and we don't wait until midnight anymore (thank goodness) but we still have lots of tamales.

I haven't been feeling well. What a time for a flare. I'm sleeping a lot and feeling very sore in my joints. During family time on Christmas eve I actually fell asleep at the table. It probably doesn't help I haven't been consistent with my medication lately. My bad. Maybe this should be my resolution for 2010.

So far So good

Vacation started on Friday at 2 and it's been a great vacation so far. I was able to enjoy some great food (sorry pumpkin pancakes, the eggnog pancakes at IHOP are now my favorite)and spend time with friends. I laughed a whole lot and got to play games and I hadn't even left San Diego yet.

Saturday night was the first annual ugly Christmas sweater party at the Milnik/Kilroy residence. It led me to ask the question, is there such a thing as a pretty Christmas sweater? I don't know if I've ever seen one. I wish I had Jacob Barena's "Wise men still seek him" sweatshirt he would wear around Joshua but I improvised and pinned an "official mistletoe tester" button on my rather plain sweater. Milnik was the only one who wanted to take me up on the offer. He also happens to be the only one who knows no personal boundaries. They had a live band and I played the maracas while Nathan screamed the lyrics to a Rage Against the Machine song. The cops shut down "Nasty Nate's Nightclub" so we took awkward pictures with Santa and his helper and watched as random people came through the party. Oh how I love people watching.

Sunday was the second annual Christmas tea and cookie party at the Venizelos household. I ate so much sugar I thought I was gonna go into a diabetic coma but it was fun to see friends and again...watch people. Katie and I met up with Danny and Kelly and had a delightful dinner at Pizza Cookery. The boys even paid for our dinner but I told Kelly he could only hug me at the end of the evening. Katie kept commenting on how unsanitary kissing is and Kelly assured us kissing through saran wrap worked. Oh my awkward friends. We watched Avatar which I actually liked. I'm not a big sci-fi fan (unless it's Outter Space Astronauts of course)and I'm definitely not a fan of 3 hour movies, but this kept my attention and was a good movie overall. The best part of the night had to be seeing this guy fall down the escalator. Now, before you go on thinking I'm just some evil person who delights in others' pain, let me tell you he thought is was funny to go down the up side. He fell so hard and just kept rolling. I thought stuff like that only happened on the movies!

I finally made my way to Fillmore and even though I've been here less than a day, I'm ready to choke JD. He was in everything in my room today, reading my text messages, playing with my ipod, but the most annoying thing was when he put the dog on my bed. I love our Christy but I hate her hair on my bed. I took a long run (about an hour)and it felt good but now my heel hurts and I'm sure I need new shoes. As I ran along the Sespe river I couldn't help but stop and look at the orchards, the sun setting on the valley and think about how amazing the Lord, Creator is. I stopped and said thanks and am inspired to hike tomorrow for some quiet time.

I have this urge to get in my car next week and drive somewhere new. I have friends all over California, I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find a place to stay, but I also know I have limited time with Danny and Katie.

This weekend...

I've enjoyed the following things in no particular order:

The rain, hanging out with Ethan, UFC fights at Caz's, processing with Mel, my San Diego Christmas, Lego Rock Band, cooking, sleeping, my Christmas tree, arts and crafts, breakfast with Ryanne, the Glee soundtrack, Pastor Miles' sense of humor, the TRUTH of scripture, clean laundry, Hot Tamales, finally getting an oil change for my car, and confirmation my application to the University of Oregon & NYU is complete.

Laugh it Off

Part of my process in CBB included me having to put myself out there more often, learning to be open and sometimes dependable on others. This took time but eventually happened with my cohort and practicum members but my advisors wanted to challenge me to do it with strangers. I know most of you wouldn’t say I’m a shy person but I am and you probably know I can be an extreme introvert. I was often asked why I was so willing to talk about certain areas of my life but others (relationships and dating) was off limits. So, in February I went speed dating for the first time and it was actually fun. I figured people like to talk about themselves so I just had to ask questions. I went speed dating again this week with a friend and it was such a horrible experience, I really just laughed a whole lot. While I sat there listening to these guys talk I just kept thinking about how I really don’t want to meet someone speed dating and really, did these guys even remember I was sitting there? I think they thought they were on dates with themselves because they didn’t try to find out a whole lot about me. This experience led to an interesting conversation with a coworker the next day. She had made some observations about me, and while they were mostly true, it made me feel sad, angry, and a little bitter towards her. It sounded like she was blaming me for not opening up. I thought why can’t I choose who I open up to? But then it brought me back to sitting in the CBB circle and I felt like the self-awareness and progress I had made in that year of school was really not much progress at all. I’m refusing to jump into my craziness and start blaming myself. Maybe this is the wrong assumption to make, but if someone wanted to get to know me, wouldn’t they want to spend time with me? Ask me about my thoughts, experiences, and myself? I thought that’s what you did when you wanted to know someone.

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

I went to a different church on Sunday and so many people came to mind throughout my visit. I thought of my Joshua-ites from 2003 as one of the welcome team members spoke about their unbelief in infant baptism. I could hear Heather laughing, Marisa saying something along the lines of her sarcastic, elongated, "suuuurrree." I thought of Sarah screaming the word infant baptism right along with the words she yelled after seeing what the deputies did to her room. I'll censor her for my reader's sake but trust me, it was hilarious. I thought of Wes as I'm sure he'd appreciate this "big C" church but he definitely wouldn't fit in with all the Asians. As much as I thought about all these other people, I also thought about what was being preached and what God had brought me to this church for on that morning. I was afraid I wouldn't fit in (it is a predominantly Korean church) and begged AJ (it's his home church) not to leave me alone in awkward situations. He was great, took care of me, and guess what? The people were nice. I'm semi kidding, I just didn't know what to expect. Since church I've been thinking about how most churches have been so dependent on a format of preaching that includes 3 points, lots of alliteration and irrelevant Internet feel good stories. This wasn't what I got at church on Sunday and it was good to have something different. I also thought about the people I met and the lack of relationships in my own church. That can be another post.

After church we came to my house to put dinner in the crock pot and then headed to Balboa Park for "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." I also really wanted a Christmas tree for my apartment but decided to put gas in my car instead of buying a tree. AJ knew how bummed I was so he surprised me with the tree I wanted and we even decorated it. It's small but mighty and beautiful. I love my tree and looking at it every night. It makes me feel like I really am at home in my apartment.

AJ, thank you for being incredibly thoughtful. I always have fun when I'm with you.

Recent Readings

I've been reading Francis Chan's latest, Forgotten God. I'm almost done with it but I kinda don't want to be. I might just re-read it as soon as I'm done because I'm sure there is so much I'm still missing out on. Every time I pick it up I have a wide range of thoughts and emotions. I'm often convicted and incredibly thankful for the Holy Spirit dwelling IN me. It's had me thinking a lot about the ways I express my creator.

I've recently been bogged down by what I've been calling rejection. Not getting the right job, not being in a committed relationship, not making friends at church, etc. I know there's a lot of fear wrapped up in this and a lot of ungratefulness. I read this last night and started to put things in perspective:

We often choose to face life's issues and circumstances in exactly the same way as someone without the Spirit of God. We worry, strive, and grieve no differently than unbelievers. While it is true that we are humans like everyone else, it is also true that we are humans with the Spirit of God dwelling in us. Yet, whether consciously or not, we essentially say to God, 'I know You raised Christ from the dead; but the fact is my problems are just too much for You and I need to deal with them by myself.

The facts are, I am a born again Christian and I have the Holy Spirit residing in me. He is infinitely great, all powerful, and waiting for me to come to Him with these things that burden me. I've decided instead of complaining to anyone who will listen, I'm going to Him with it. And I invite my brothers and sisters to call me out when I'm not doing this. Help me be a woman of my word :)

My Christmas Wish List

I thought it might be a bratty thing to do, post my list for Santa. I figured it would only be bratty if I asked you to buy me the things on my list. I won't do that...but if you feel so inclined :)

If Santa brought me a Kindle, Wii, or iPhone, I wouldn't be mad. I also love gift cards (itunes, Starbucks, Amazon, Trader Joe's, even Subway). Movie tickets might make me go to the movies more often. For the last few years I've been thinking it would be nice if I had my car detailed. I still think that would be nice. And of course, a new gi or headgear would be fantastic.

I know Santa has also been hit by the recession so I'm not holding my breath. It'll be good to see family and friends and have extra time to train. I'll keep telling myself that.