What's not to love?

Pretty Amazing

I think it's funny that I had such a deep dislike for Kim from 24 and then she ends up on my celebrity look alike page. It's also pretty darn funny that I could be with Nick Lachey and Ellen DeGeneres. Hey, and I saw both of them this week!

I do whatever Amanda and Jasen do...

Today is my day

I woke up this morning incredibly exhausted and very sore from my workout on Monday. I even slept through my alarm and missed my morning gym routine. I felt out of whack and after weighing in at Weight Watchers I really felt like I had been dealt a bad hand this morning. But then I had to remember all the good and it's gotten even better.

Friday I went to Burbank to see Ellen taped and it was a blast! I even got invited onstage to dance in front of everyone. It got me a "I danced with Ellen" shirt and I realized that if I ever wanted to go on MTV Made, I would definitely be made into a dancer on a huge tour like Justin Timberlake's or something like that.

This morning I entered a drawing to go see Nick Lachey tonight and even though I'm not this huge Nick Lachey fan I thought it would be fun to win. I got the call this afternoon telling me I had won and I get to go backstage and then on stage with him while he performs a song. Woohoo! Being onstage is pretty darn fun. I'll let you know how it goes.

So overall, I was on TV (the ellen show aired today) and tonight I'll be onstage at a concert. Not too bad for a nobody.

Luke 12:27-31

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."

Today is the first of November (can you believe it?) so we had our monthly staff meeting. This monthly metting focused our time on solitude and I took my blanket to the edge of the parking lot overlooking the valley and spent time with God. I wasn't looking forward to it and it's mostly because I've been angry with God and withdrawn from everything. I'm not spending time with friends and I'm definitely not spending time with God. So this was a challenge. I started journaling and figured, since God knows what I want to say, I might as well say it. As I was writing this passage in Luke came to mind and I flipped there in my Bible. I was humbled, challenged and restored just a little bit. I've been calling out to God in desperation for Him to change my situation. I'm tired of doing life alone. I'm tired of being fake. I'm tired of feeling like I can't really have community with anyone. I want a new job. I want to move. I want, I want, I want. And that's when Luke slapped me in the face :) Maybe it's me lacking faith. Maybe it's just me being impatient. Maybe, just maybe God does know what He's doing and how I'm feeling and is trying to love me and I've withdrawn. I don't know a whole lot lately but I do know that I'm not living in joy but in sin because I've tried to control my life. So here's my confession to you all and I'm submitting to God. Not my will but His.