The Promised Land

I got to Red Coat at Hume this weekend and it was alright. My girls weren't so talkative but I did have fun roaming. My cabins were at the top of Ponderosa which meant I had to hike in the ice at the wee hours of the morning. I thought I might fall and brake my neck the first night. The second night I almost did. Luckily there are lots of trees to brake my fall.

This was a special trip for me because I got to spend time with friends, serve at Hume and listen to Darin teach. It was also huge for me because it was my 11th "spiritual birthday." I gave my life to Christ at Hume during a winter camp in high school. I had the chance to sit under the stars and thank God for the wonderful things He's done in my life and ask Him about the things He's going to do. It was amazing.

Somehow I was able to escape many slippery falls at Hume but today I totally ate it outside of my house. I guess the rain washed enough rocks into my driveway to take me out. It reminded me of my fall at Hume this summer. That one left me with a black eye and a scar on my knee...Ouch.

High definition in your L-I-F-E

Man, I'm one down little girl this week. It started Sunday when I got to church and discovered the topic was marriage. My favorite topic while sitting completely alone in church. I don't think it would have been so bad if I even had a friend to sit by but Nathan won't sit next to me. I think he thinks people will think we're dating. Did that make sense? So I cried during church and then this creepy guy sat next to me and was so shy he turned his back to me when I reached out to shake his hand and say good morning.

I painted Monday and did some scrapbooking. It was better than eating everything in my house which is what I wanted to do. I was pleased with the results and amazed by that evening's episode of 24. The best show ever.

Tuesday was rough and has carried over into today. I'm trying to separate myself from my situation, evaluate and analyze. Maybe that's my problem. Oh, by the way, I spilled my guts to Blue Eyes. I guess I can call him Danny now because he knows how I feel...Only now I wish I hadn't done it. I could've ruined a great friendship. T, is it really worth it in the end? Hurting that much?

I know God is always with me and I'm actually never alone but you've probably felt alone like I have. Is it because I'm human and don't fully get it? I wish I had some physical aspect of God to show me His love today. Maybe it's in creation or it'll be in some middle schooler who gives me a hug tonight. I just don't think I'll be satisfied with that. Why am I such a brat?

The Day of Love

It wasn't so bad. Actually, I had almost forgotten it was Valentine's Day until I got to work and realized I was wearing pink. Eh, who cares? I did get flowers from a nice boy and another nice boy told me I had a beautiful smile. So I guess I'm workin' it. Only kidding.

My good friend in Ethiopia asked me to bring him to the US on a fiance visa because it's quick and easy. I don't know how to respond to that. He's pretty much in hiding because he can be thrown in jail for opposing the Ethiopian government which has become so corrupt the US has withdrawn a major part of funding for the country. I'm actually pretty angry at the situation. I guess I have to wait to see God's justice come.

Nathan is a dweeb. Stop pretending to be interested in my blog.

I was reading in Acts this morning and it got me so pumped. I can't wait to share but I have to continue on in my thought process.

Basically...is Nathan's favorite word

Just so you all know, thanks to Nathan I now have a myspace. I don't know how to log onto it and I don't know how to work it. He knows my user name and password and all that jazz. Now I feel obligated to use it (once he decides to tell me how to log on) because there are so many people on it that I know and haven't spoken to in so long. Anyway, feel free to look at it but I don't.

"Is your man on the floor? If he ain't let me know"

I love that I can renew my license online. It makes it so easy and I don't have to deal with DMV people. I'm also pretty stoked I don't have to take the Class B test over again, I guess they trust I'm still a good bus driver.

I did my taxes today and now I'm going to sulk in the corner. I really think there's something wrong here because I owe my great state of California 76 bucks and Uncle Sam wants $181. How in the world can I owe that much when I don't make hardly anything and I give 10% away!? Last year I trusted Turbo Tax but I might not this year. I put it on hold for the time being. If I owe, they aren't getting my money until April 14th.

I might have just gotten a sweet deal on a credit card. Ahh, money!

You Said

You said, "Ask and you will receive whatever you need."
You said, "Pray and I'll hear from heaven,
And I'll heal your land."

You said Your glory will fill the earth
Like water the sea.
You said, "Lift up your eyes;
The harvest is here. The kingdom is near.

You said, "Ask and I'll give the nations to you."
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart.
Distant shores and the islands will see
Your light as it rises on us.

©1998 Reuben Morgan / Hillsong Music Australia
Words and Music by Reuben Morgan

I'm wondering if a shake's comin' with those fries, if so baby can I get 'em supersized?

I'm back from Hume and boy am I beat. It was a great camp though and Eric Simpson did an amazing job communicating the heart of God. JD came with us and he had fun although he was a bit out of place not knowing anyone from RP. While I was watching broom hockey this girl comes up to me and asks me if I was her counselor. I didn't recognize her and asked what church she was with. She told me and then she told me her name and I remembered her from jr.'s week at Pondo. She was one of my campers there and now she's a middle schooler! It was kind of a cool thing.

I tested the public transportation yesterday and took the orange line to the red line into Hollywood. It was a lot of fun and I even enjoyed shabu shabu and Koji's with Katie.

I then went to Manhattan Beach with Nate and Bryant and heard Greg Koukal (spelling isn't right) from Stand to Reason lecture about the "emerging church." It was super awesome, I enjoyed it.

Hume Lake is a Refuge

I'm headed to Hume for the weekend. We're taking 93 middle schoolers and my brother counts for one of them. I'm stoked for this because he's never been exposed to church and I'm praying God shows Himself to JD. My mom had a funny story yesterday. She told JD he needed a Bible for camp and JD responded with, "Why do I need a Bible for camp?" "Because you're going to church camp and you go to church while you're there." "I have to go to church when I'm there?" "Yes JD." "That sucks. I don't like church. I thought I was going to have fun!" My mom explained he would have a lot of fun but that we did have chapel and he would have to go.

I got offered a job yesterday by Quest. I called and asked for more money. They said no. I'm staying at the church. It's the right thing, I know it is. This whole job thing has been a little depressing. It wasn't like I was out looking for a job but then these opportunities came up so I took them and they all ended up wrong (in my eyes). I just feel like this expensive BA sitting on my desk is worthless. Really, how can I not make more than $10.29 an hour with a degree from UCSD? Maybe I'm just not made for anything but ministry and honestly I could be okay with that. I do get worried and fear that I'll never be able to do the things I want to do because let's face it, everything costs money. But I guess it's an opportunity for me to trust in God to provide. Someone once said, "you're always going to be in debt. It's a fact of life." Crown taught me differently and I've been striving to be wise with money and debt but maybe debt will be a part of my life...forever.

Yo amo Jack Bauer