A Quick Note Before I Go

I leave tomorrow for good ol' Blithe, CA. We're taking our high school students on a spring break trip. I'm in charge of driving to the go-kart track and the river everyday. Sweet deal. It should be fun, camping under the stars, teaching dance classes and getting to know blue eyes better :) Yeah so I have a little crush.

One student asked if I was teaching dance classes at this camp and I told him I would if he took the class. The high school director said he'd let them perform in front of everyone if there were at least 3 people who learned the routine. It's gonna be great. Nikki, I wish I had your input here! I think we'd teach the bomb diggity dance class together.

I've decided I'm never visiting Darin McWatters again. Every time I see that guy something bad happens to my car! Today I went down to Hollywood to have lunch and go to the record store. We had a great lunch, we both found killer deals on some music and then our visit was over. We were going back to The Oasis and I was making the left into the parking lot when this girl tried to pass me on the left (she crossed a double yellow to do it too) and she ran right into me. She nearly took off the front bumper and now it's duct taped together. That's right folks, I've become even MORE WT...I live in a trailer and my car is taped together. Thank God for duct tape but curses on young actresses late for their set time! Ugh, Hollywood.

Beverly Hills

If you haven't heard the new Weezer single, "Beverly Hills" then you should check it out on i-tunes. Oh man, it's so dope.

Searching for God knows what

That's the title of the new book I'm reading (compliments of Milnik) and I love it! You all should seriously purchase a copy for yourself. It has made me think about Adam and Eve a whole lot lately. I mean, he brings up such a good point. We are born sinners but they were made perfect. They knew that true union with God and they screwed it up. We don't even know how it felt to have it perfectly made you know? Can you imagine how Adam and Eve felt after they realized they were naked and now ashamed? His thoughts on scripture are so comforting too. Lately I've been reading the Bible and not really studying it but mostly just reading it and you know what? It's pretty amazing. Miller points out in his book just how much we get caught up in making everything into a formula. Follow points A,B,C and do 1,2,3 and you'll get it. But let's be honest, sometimes that doesn't work and then we get all distraught because the plan failed us. Man, I'm enjoying this.

This weekend I killed another mouse and a whole army of ants. I'm a good housekeeper...I mean, trailer keeper. My mom saw my trailer for the first time last week and she was impressed by the fancy pad I have set up for myself.

25 and white hair

I went and saw The Ring 2 on Wednesday night so I got to bed around 1:30 am and then had to get up for a 6:30 am meeting on my birthday. It was fun times though so I didn't mind. As I was doing my hair that morning I found 2 white hairs. Really, it isn't such a big deal, I've had white hair since I was in high school but why did I have to find these 2 on my 25th? I had to laugh...It was that or cry about it.

I usually hate birthdays but this one wasn't bad at all. I was very blessed and felt very loved throughout the day. My mom and stepdad and brother even drove to Northridge to have dinner with me.

Again there is nobody in the office today. I'm going shopping! I'd like to have a study Bible so I'm going to cruise the Bible bookstore for an hour before going to a Good Friday service.

Mars and David, sorry I didn't get any of your calls last night. I love you guys so much and truly thank you from the bottom of my heart for your gift of love. I cried when I opened my gift, it was such a blessing.

I've been M.I.A.

So I haven't been around much and you've probably noticed because you check for my thrilling update often. Let's see...Christie and Dave got married and I always love a wedding with music because I get to show off the hottest new move on the dance floor with the hopes of wooing some equally hot dancer. Although I never woo, I do have a splendid time. I don't think people at this church will look at me the same. Oh, they didn't know I have the moves. Speaking of moves, I'm taking a dance class and I love it. It's the greatest thing and I have so much fun. I almost didn't go to the first one because I can be shy. It was fun and the class is small. I guess me and the other 7 girls in the class don't have a life on Friday evenings huh?

I had a great weekend at Hume Lake (it's a refuge). I "red coated" for the jr. high weekend and Darin was the speaker. I got to spend some time with the McW crew and his teaching was phenomenal. For you ex-JW members, have you really ever recognized all in Philippians 3? I mean, we had to memorize that entire book and I don't think I ever realized just what Paul was saying. I was challenged and he was speaking to the jr. highers! My heart was heavy with many things over the weekend and I asked God a lot of ,"why?" and his responses humbled me, "because I'm God." It's amazing.

I turn 25 tomorrow and what am I doing? Working and probably trying to jump into another hip hop class. I have nothing better to do. I hate birthdays because the people I think should care the most often forget it. I think my dad has forgotten every year since I turned 15. He called me on Monday and was like, "Oh hey, your birthday is this week right?" I'm like, "Yes and thanks for calling way in advance to cover your butt." Maybe I shouldn't be so bitter, at least he got the week right instead of that year he missed it by a month. I guess I mention this all as my desperate attempt to get comments on the blog and to remind you all so I can feel better about myself.

Becky, JT and I in my bedroom. To the right is the closet and on the left is the bathroom. Remember I live in a 5th wheel.

"Just give me Jesus"

Last night I had a mentoring meeting and we listened to Anne Graham Lotz read from her book. There was something that made me tear up as I heard the southern drawl repeating, "just give me Jesus." That's it...What I need. Not a bigger heart or more compassion or patience. Just Jesus.

I joined a gym. I wasn't gonna do it, I just wanted to try it out but they hook you in as soon as you walk in those doors. I was pretty intimidated at first because well, I didn't want to be surrounded by all these beautiful people working to keep their perfect shapes and flirting with one another and you know, the gym scene. It hasn't been like that, granted I've only been for 2 days but I like it. It's chill, the atmosphere is cool and it's a really nice place. On top of all that I found 2 hip hop classes that I can go to there. Sweet deal! Watch out for my new moves.

Christie and Dave are getting married this weekend so there will be lots of friends in town. That's exciting. Graham and Sarah-Louise are getting married too but I can't go to Australia to be there. Best wishes to all.

Oh, just so you know Aaron, I check your blog first all the time. I hope you feel special :)

I need a bigger heart or something...

I tried to post over the weekend but blogger wouldn't let me so the bathroom junk is fixed and actually I'm moving again. This time they can move my entire house without me even moving my stuff. How great is that? Maybe I'll live in a trailer for the rest of my life so I'll never have to deal with moving my junk again.

I've been reading a lot lately. A lot of scripture, a lot of books, a lot of your blogs. Life wants to overwhelm me. On Sunday in the college group Mike wanted us to evaluate our sin and be broken and come to the table of communion. I couldn't go. Not because I'm not broken over my sin but because I felt like I had to do some pleading with God. I've been loving, trusting and trying harder than I ever have and yet I'm continually knocked down. I just sat and cried before my Father. Why is my family life crappy? Why can't I love Him more? Why can't I show more compassion?

My mom has had it hard lately. Her husband isn't loving her, caring for her or even trying. She has to have surgery today on both hands for carpal tunnel, her pinky is being cut to the first joint because of cancer. She's in pain, physically, emotionally, spiritually and I feel like there's nothing I can do. My mom doesn't know God the way I do and yet she's so strong and I question Him everyday! Why?

I look at people around me and I want to love them so much. I want to give all that I am and all that I have. I want them to see that and want that from me. I hear from some of you and I wish I could put my arms around you and show you how much I care. I want to give so much more but I feel like I have nothing to give. Maybe I just need a bigger heart or something.

Urgh!

Why do I sit here and try to update only to be denied and rejected by blogger?

I don't live in an airplane

But it sure feels like it when you have to use the bathroom. My toilet is the only part about my house that makes me feel like I'm always camping instead of living everyday life. I wish that made me feel like I was always on a vacation but nope, it doesn't. Instead, it scares me every time I have to use the bathroom. You go to flush and the hole opens and there goes your waste. I had a party this week with some of the girls I work with. It was a ton of fun to have a place to bring friends to hang out but I don't think my toilet liked it because now it's acting backed up. I don't really know what to do either. It isn't like I can plunge it, how do you plunge a hole? I think I started to believe there really was this black hole that stuff just fell into and disappeared, now I'm not so sure about living on the septic system. Anyone know what to do?

Potty stories aside, this last week has been alright. I had the chance to sit with my boss and put things on his radar that will need addressing once he returns from his month long honeymoon. My job description just got totally reworked and that's okay with me. Instead of doing these retreats I'm going to be focusing on developing our staff and small group leaders. I think this is a great thing because the need is so great. He wanted me to do this and that but I sorta let him know that that won't be possible. I can't do EVERYTHING excellent, just most of it :) Only kidding.

This weekend we as a church are voting on a new senior pastor. This guy is cool, we'll see how things go. I've had the chance to hear him share about himself this week but I'm really looking forward to hearing him bring the Word...I want to be at a church where I'm constantly being challenged by the truth of the scriptures.

Josh is in Germany this week with Hume Lake doing camps for missionary kids. If you think about it pray for him. Also, pray for my mom. She's having surgery this week on both hands and they're cutting part of her pinky off (they found cancer on it) and she won't have use of her hands for a few weeks. Can you imagine not being able to cook, clean or wash yourself? Love you.