War of the Worlds

I saw the movie last night. Gonna be honest, not too impressed. Maybe it's because I'm not into the alien thing, I wasn't scared or tense. It was just okay. The best part of the movie was sitting next to blue eyes :)

You might have thought he was gone because I haven't really mentioned him lately but nope. I still wonder if I should have hope. I think he's pretty dope. Wow, what a rhyme!

Hume Lake Here I Come

Grant got married over the weekend...I'm so happy for him but man, it's a bummer when your students get married before you. I got to hang with TJ and JT and that was a blast. Unfortunately we had to leave before the dancing began but I did have a long trek back to so Cal.

That trip to Fresno made me to stoked for Hume Lake. I'm leaving on Sunday and will have an entire week! Sweet action!

Tomorrow I'm going to Hollywood to watch Wicked at the Pantages. I'm excited for that too. The only thing about all the excitement in my life lately is that it costs mula...And I'm broke. It's sad when you're still broke on payday :)

Wonder where the week went?

It's been a week and I can't really remember what happened although I know it wasn't anything special. I've been busy but I feel like I've had a lot of free time. Too much time maybe and that's why my mind is on overload.

Have you ever had a week where you know you're exactly where God wants you to be and being obedient to the things He's called you to only to be completely lost and confused the next week? That's what life has been like. I don't like it so much that's for sure.

I have to go to a wedding this weekend in Fresno. Woohoo! I hope there's dancing.

Time for our middle school swim party. I'll think of something a little more clever to write about later...oh wait, I went fire chasing with Kelly today. It was a bonding experience, one I'm glad I shared with him.

"Squat like a catcher and pee in this cup"

I had to go to urgent care this week to renew my medical certificate for my class B license. It was a funny process and I'm glad I went with people I work with because it made it go by fast. It kinda makes me nervous about who they pass on these things though. I was put on the scale (always traumatic for every woman) and they had me read the eye chart. I seriously made some letters up but hey, I have 20/20 vision. Score! Yeah, there's that peeing in a cup. I've never done it into a dixie cup though. I spent more time waiting longer for the doctor to come than I actually spent with him. He told me to squat like a catcher and touch my toes. Why squat like a catcher? Maybe he saw I work with youth and thought I should be ready for a pick up game of softball, you never know when you'll need a catcher.

I saw Batman Begins last night. Pretty good movie, really great company :) Work has been pretty chill and this week I've had some time off and sorta clueless as to how to use the extra time. Okay, that isn't entirely true. I did laundry, read a book and so on.

Monday Monday

Today was a great day which makes me feel great because last week sucked. I woke up around 8 am but fell back asleep and finally rolled out of bed at 10:30. I was tired! I went to a wedding on Friday, rafting on Saturday and church all day on Sunday.

Rafting was amazing! I've never had such an adrenaline rush. JR took us on a class 5 run down the Kern river and I got thrown from the boat and pulled behind the boat across rocks. I finally got pulled into the boat and was laughing so hard because my shorts were coming down.

I decided to come to good old Fillmore this morning because I've missed my family. My stepdad told our family this week he was ready to be done with us. It's been really hard on my brother and mom. I got to town and he wanted to come see JD so I decided to go for a run. I miss Fillmore a lot. I sat in a park for a while and had some time with God. I finished the run and hung out with JD and Robbie. I sat with my mom for a while and we talked. Yup, today has been a pretty good day.

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I had to post it...

As I read it this afternoon I couldn't think of anything better to post than this. My words wouldn't suffice but His do.

Lamentations 3:1-33
I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light; indeed, he has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long. He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones. He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead. He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains. Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked. Like a bear lying in wait, like a lion in hiding, he dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me without help. He drew his bow and made me the target for his arrows. He pierced my heart with arrows from his quiver. I became the laughingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long. He has filled me with bitter herbs and sated me with gall. He has broken my teeth with gravel; he has trampled me in the dust. I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD." I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust— there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.

Surrender

Have you ever given something over to God only to have Him hand it right back to you? That's how I felt this morning. He's pretty hilarious.

Sunless Tanning

When I was a senior in high school I had a halter prom dress. You all know prom comes at the end of the year which was also the end of track season. After being in the scorching Fillmore heat everyday of the week on the track I was a darkie. Except my tank top tan didn't match so well with the backless dress. So my mom thought I should try the sunless tanning lotion, the answer to all my problems. Instead it turned my skin orange and it rubbed off on my dress. Good thing I didn't care as long as I was dancing. That was the 90's though and here in 2005 I trust the sunless tanning scientists have perfected their chemical equation because I have a wedding to go to this weekend and I have a strapless dress. It probably still won't matter because I'll be dancing.

Maybe it's because I'm listening to Dashboard

Or it could just be this emptiness I feel surrounding me and sucking me in deep. I'm not satisfied with where life is. I keep thinking, maybe I am where I am because God knows I can't be trusted with something else. I doubt myself too much. Have you ever had the thought, "I could walk away from everything in my life right now" and then sit back and contemplate what that life would be like? Then you realize how stupid and pointless that life would be. That's where I was not long ago and I moved away from that place quickly, but it seems like it hasn't taken long for me to travel down that road again. The thing is, I know how completely sucky that life would be and how dumb it is to even think about a life without my church, my friends, family and especially my God. But I have. I don't post this so you worry, I do it because you're my friends and I want to be honest. I think it's time to retreat.

The little house

Dave gave me this "house" for mice. They walk in and can't get out. I think there might be one in the house now.

I'm already sad I'm not at camp. I hope you all are having fun.