After graduating from college I went to Ethiopia with 12 other crazy Americans. Needless to say we had some cultural training before being in country and completely making fools of ourselves. In this training we were told about the way friends show affection for one another and how shocking it can be, especially to Americans. See, you know you’re close friends when you hold hands, walk arm in arm, are physically connected in some way. I remember the first time my Ethiopian roommate held my hand as we walked through a museum and how awkward it was but how cool it was that she considered me a friend. Usually this sign only goes for same sex friends, it could be inappropriate for men and women to show such affection depending on the situation. My interpreter and team teacher, Betiglu and I held hands all the time. And I liked it. It brought a sense of protection (especially in certain parts of the city) but was also very gentle and tender. He was over 6’ tall and might seem intimidating if you didn’t talk to him.
Betiglu & Muir
When I went to CBB (grad school) I first met Mel before leaving for a retreat. I didn't know her. I didn't know ANYONE. But here was this girl with a mohawk on my porch, ready to carpool. She's been a special gift to me and has continued to be someone special in my life. During school, Wednesdays were our intense days. We usually spent hours in a circle doing group counseling, check ins, talking about issues that brought deep hurts to the surface. And I could always count on Mel to be there to hold my hand. We never had to say anything to one another but if either of us were feeling overwhelmed, sad, or just so much emotion we didn't know what to do, we simply held hands.
Alyzzle & Melly Mel
Some days I find myself holding back the urge to hold hands with people here. It makes me a little sad when I think about the personal space we Americans require. Sometimes I’m thankful for it. Anyway, I just want to hold hands.
No comments:
Post a Comment