While filing away papers today I had A LOT of time to think (there was A LOT of filing). I’ve had many things on my mind and I finally felt the anxiety that’s been brewing. My breath got shorter, my stomach started to turn, and I really felt the emotions inside myself. I’ve been wondering how this school thing is going to work out. I’ve got the financial aid to pay for it, just not to live off it. I need to figure money out…not a fun subject to talk or think about. But I’ve tried to not worry about it because the Lord provides EVERYTIME. I guess its money on top of moving (and not knowing where I’m going to live), and giving up training…the list of things that have me anxious could go on. The other BIG thing on my mind and causing some intense emotions involves having to say goodbye to friends (some probably forever). During CBB we spent two weeks saying goodbye to one another, now I have limited or no time to say my goodbyes. I’m hesitant to accept that some of my relationships here will change. I love boxing with Mel, sometimes seeing one another 5 days a week. I like Peter, Maya, Maria, Ian, and Brian calling me for random meals or just time together. I’m sad to move further from the Drakes, especially with a baby girl on the way and Ethan growing so fast. I’m a bit sad to leave the people at the gym, and the new people I’ve just started to get to know in the last couple of weeks at church. And even though AJ is also going to LA, I know we won’t see each other much and by the time I blink he’ll be back in San Diego. Yeah…I guess I don’t do change very well.
No comments:
Post a Comment