For the Faithful

My dear friend Veronica called me out the other day on my lack of posting. I didn't even realize it had been months! So, for the faithful to my blog...or just Veronica, here you go :)

Sometimes I feel like I am the most wretched person to ever walk this earth.  Therapy helps bring these feelings out.  Therapy also helps normalize a lot of these feelings.  I know I've always been tough on myself.  I push myself to excel, go past the limitations I have, and with this also brings a whole lot of self-criticism.  It genuinely is difficult for me to hear positive things about myself.  Sometimes I try the positive self-talk, but it never really ever goes deep.  Sometimes I try to take in the things my friends say to me, but I secretly doubt they actually believe those things about me.  All this makes tomorrow a very difficult day for me.  Yes, it's Valentine's Day...but that's not what is hard about the 14th.  Tomorrow at 7:45 am, I'll meet with 3 faculty members who will give me feedback on my time so far in this doctorate program.  While I don't expect everything to be positive, I do know it'll be hard for me to hear the positive.  They will also then make me wait a few weeks to tell me if I can continue on in the program.  I don't think they're gonna tell me to take a hike, but I'm sure I'll have a better sense of security after tomorrow.  My practicum rankings for next year are also due and this is a highly competitive year in terms of clinical work.  I just pray I place and somewhere where I'll be excited to work and learn and do therapy.  So, I'd appreciate your prayers!