School on the Brain

This week I have a stats exam, a paper due, sessions to watch and comment on, a client to see and prep for next week. When I'll have an IQ test to administer, a client to see, another tape to watch, another exam, paper, and on and on. I'm stressed, mostly because I doubt myself. I don't think I'm very smart and I'm often scared I can't pull this doctorate thing off. But the stress isn't good. My hair falls out, my body aches, my eyes dry up, I require more sleep and the lupus is in full effect. My mom talks to me like she wants me to quit. Last week I wanted to. Last week I really wanted to. It only took 6 weeks for me to feel this way and I still have 4 3/4 years to go. I was talking to a 5th year this weekend who gave me some encouraging words. I think part of it is I feel disconnected from my cohort. It's hard jumping in and seeing clients during the first semester. Sometimes I wish I would've just stuck with the cohort but sometimes I think maybe I can do this in 4 years. School is the only thing on the brain.