The Way I See it #76

"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life." Anne Morriss

Reading the Starbucks cups has become a favorite past time of mine. I haven't been to coffee in a while and a good friend offered to buy and I don't say no to free macchiatos. Anyway, this cup had me thinking about a couple of situations in my life and particular people. It also made me think about my walk with God lately. I haven't been going to a church. Mostly because I like to waste my time. Also because I have no friends that go to church in the area and I'm tired of feeling so alone when I go places. But you know, maybe I should stop making excuses and find a church I like. And be committed to it. Because we all commit to things, I've just been committed to myself and life isn't worth living like that.

Last night I woke up a couple of times. I don't usually sleep through the night, waking up with some random pain, needing to use the bathroom, or just slight noises can wake me. But last night was scary because I woke up out of fear. I had a dream (and have been having depressing dreams lately) that made me wake up with this heavy, dark feeling around me. It reminded me of a few years back when I was going through big time spiritual warfare and I hated it. I immediately started praying and hoping I would fall back asleep. It took about 2 hours to finally feel peaceful and now I'm a bit afraid of what will happen tonight. You can pray for me.